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[24 Sep 2005|12:16am] |
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Re: Yuuta's party, I received this in my inbox from Tezuka:
( My Dare )
Interesting data was gathered at the party. Tezuka seemed to enjoy giving Mukahi-kun piggy-backs more than most would have anticipated (note to self: draw up tests to perform on Tezuka next time he becomes inebriated). Kirihara impersonating Mizuki for the entire night gave Fuji an unconscious twitch. I gathered more data about the Golden Pair than even I could actually have wanted (kidding. All data is of the good). Sengoku-san is not averse to drinking strange concoctions (ahahahaha). Kisarazu Atsushi looks very fetching in footwear. Kamio and Sengoku looked like they enjoyed their dare. Jirou looks very good in makeup (and Taka-san might be in for some questioning). Fuji did not notice most of the phallic objects being thrust at him by Ibu-kun; make of this what you will. The Kisarazu brothers would make an interesting couple. Mukahi and Kikumaru would make an... interesting couple. Data suggests that Ryuuzaki-sensei would have preferred someone other than Horio from our team to breathe heavily down her phone. There is a 56% chance that Fuji has had previous experience in lapdancing. There is a 0% chance that his younger brother has had previous experience in experiencing simulated sex from his team captain (unless his brother was ever captain of anything)
Data is yet unverified for it really being Momoshiro's underwear flying from the Hyoutei flagpole. DNA is being run as I type. Data is also incomplete on the status of Echizen wearing women's underwear. There is a 90% chance of a reward if you have any useful information. There is a 34% chance of it being a palatable reward.
My thanks, Yuuta-kun, for such a data-rich party.
( Kaidou )
( Private - the seven nights of Kaidou )
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| #4 |
[24 Aug 2005|03:20am] |
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This weekend, I set my mind to the task of how best to improve team performance, and a passing idea manifested itself in a small computer simulation. I have digitally rendered images of how all of you would look were you to adopt this aerodynamicism boost. I urge you to do so, but I am 98% sure that none of you will. What a pity. But I have another project on the backburner and then my army of super robots will fly through the skies like giant metal eagles in all their majestic glory ahahahaha-.
The program that rendered these, curiously, was demonstrating almost human behaviour. It seemed to get fed up by the end, and as a result, some of the latter images are not as high quality as you have come to expect from Inui Industries. There are also some glaring errors of human physiology. I fear I must keep an eye on that particular computer. I'm sure it ate my sandwich last night...
( Images one through eight )
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| #2 |
[24 Jun 2005|01:28am] |
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Fuji, make sure you remember what I told you this morning: you're not to play tennis until your eye has healed. Another tennis ball could easily hit you again, and the damage would be worse that time. And no, playing with goggles doesn't count. You'll just have to sit out and bother Tezuka. There's a 95.4% that you'll enjoy it, so it can't be too much of a restriction.
I'll get another bottle of bruise-reducing juice to you tomorrow. I'm glad to hear that it's delicious - there's a new combination of secret ingredients that must be making it so.
Kaidou - shall I come over later tonight for your knee massage? I'll bring over my special muscle rub. There is a selection of flavours scents for you to choose from; it works partly by vapour-action, you see.
It's been very interesting, these past few days, seeing everybody's dream partners. I was able to tick off a few question marks in my notebooks, and up the percentage possibility by 0.1% (thus making 100) for some others.
Structurally-speaking, I do not think that Sengoku's Asami Abe resembles Kamio-kun very much: her face is too round, her nose too small, and she is, in general, too perky. Not that Kamio is not perky, of course; it's just that his perkiness rating is currently 2/10, whereas Asami's is 9.5/10. Your rating could be improved by the possession of a black and pink print bikini, if you're interested, Kamio. See me, if you are.
Congratulations, Golden Pair. Watch me feign my surprise, and tick another box.
Inui out.
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| #1 |
[06 Jun 2005|04:26pm] |
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Hello, Live Journal. This has already been most interesting: from the past 2.5 days alone, there have been at least six instances of UST (some of them aware, some not), two usages of this service as a social organiser, one reminder of impending schoolwork (good luck, Kamio-kun), several outbursts that this service is stupid (from people continuing to use it regardless), countless references to eating ice cream in a provocative manner, one mention of 'tentacles', and the formation of a somewhat dubious book club. I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear an 'ii data' from me.
Hyoutei boys are very territorial with their ice cream. May I suggest a label stating it has been spat in? That seems to do the trick, nine times out of ten. Or something worse than spitting, if you like; there are at least three other bodily fluids to choose from, each as off-putting as the last.
This summer is currently 0.2°C warmer than that of last year. A small number can make a big difference. As can a refreshing glass of juice. I have been developing a keep-cool recipe to maintain team morale during the hot spells, but no one seems to be keeping their cool around it. You will all be drinking it sooner or later, though.
Kaidou, there is an 88% chance that I will have completed my prototype electric fan (the Inui Hyper Blade Rotation Apparatus Mark 3) by tomorrow afternoon; would you care to join me in my room to test it out after training? If it works, we will be twice as cool as we would be using any other fan, and our street cred will quite possibly increase as well.
The oven has just dinged, so I will bid you farewell.
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